Fine Lines

Ode to Dave Hayek

( This poem was written shortly after the death of my husband in June 2006.)

Linda Hayek

You are still big in my life, warm in my heart
not only because you loved me – completely
quirks and rough edges included
and fathered my daughters into adulthood

not only because you opened wide the doors of your heart
to share your family with me
and invited me to gaze through the windows of your faith
thus strengthening my own

not only because you embraced the adventures I concocted
sometimes called vacations – riding a bicycle for thousands of miles
across and around and beyond Nebraska -
you could smell a malt a mile away

and hiking the grand canyon for 22 miles down the north face
and up the south side
just to say we could, and we did
not only because you are still the “captain of the ski boat”

but because you are now bigger than life
for nine years I watched you live with cancer
intermittently seasoned with anger, indifference, hope, exhaustion, fear
acceptance, even gratitude and always with courage

I watched your strength wax and wane countless times during
the slow eviction of your soul, the twinkle in your eye the last
to give up the struggle and to be set free
finally released from the tired shell of your body

in the latter days you spent more and more time in a world I could not share
a land where green cookies sometimes appeared in your pocket
the tempo of our dance slowed, no longer rock and roll,
but gentle embrace assisting you from recliner to wheelchair

one last ride in the ‘ 56 Chevy,
a chocolate malt in the back seat shared from a cup with two straws
all too soon, suddenly it seemed
a tender parting, a peaceful crossing

and, now, your “being” etched in my heart
your spirit felt in campfires near our beaver lake
your presence big as I pedal the keystone trail
you are closer by far

until I, too, cross the great divide
will I know the way?
reborn to meet you again
kindred child of the resurrection

We will dance together once more
in the eternal ballroom of celebrations
no need to ask you to save one for me
the polka band will play forever