When the Cards Are Stacked… by Pam Curtis

When the Cards Are Stacked against You, Reshuffle ┬áby Pam Curtis I have heard people say time and time again that they don’t know how I do it. “That is entirely too much for a person to handle!” I’ve had one say. And yet to me, I can’t give it any credit. When I get taken over by these dire health moments, it’s luck and instinct. It has nothing to do with me. I’m just holding on! I’m not clever or wonderful in these moments. I’m just a living organism desperate to keep living. I believe every one of you would do just as well, if not better, in my shoes. You’d get the job done, and probably with less whining and kibitzing! I honestly wish I could shut up about all of this and just live life, but I’ve been unable to do so. Instead I’ve turned it into a blog so I can fake that all my complaining is respectable. Funny thing is, I accidently found a way to make it successful. (Sometimes it seems the only way I find success is to trip over it.) I started this blog because I was miserable. In my mind, I was a wretched thing like something out of a Dickens nightmare. I was huddled in the darkness, alone and doomed. Then the other part of my mind kicked in. This part of my mind was more like the Ghost of Christmas Present, gentle and joyful. She laid a hand on that wretched child’s shoulder and said, “Now see here… You know you’re not the only one going through this and you know you don’t have it as bad as you could. If you want to learn how to do something yourself, try teaching it to someone else, remember? Now think… if you wanted to teach someone else how to get through this, how would you do it?” And like a dawn breaking, suddenly I wasn’t in the darkness. I was in a lecture hall. I wasn’t dressed in rags anymore; I was in a nice wool suit. And I also wasn’t a child… I was an adult, standing tall. The lecture hall I had in mind was very specific. It was the lecture halls I had when I was a science major at Saint Louis University. There, the seats slope downwards like in a theater to accommodate class sizes of 300 students. But more importantly in my mind, I’d be lecturing from a point where the students look down at me. Yes, I’m the one lecturing. But I must always remember to present my teachings as a gift or an offering. Because in the end, it’s not my lecture...