Insight: A Message from Within – Karalee Sutton

Insight: A Message from Within

Karalee Sutton

            Life seems to be full of patterns that repeat ad nauseam. God, the universe, and the innate wisdom within people will present lessons like broken records until they are learned. Once the human mind finally grasps these messages and applies their knowledge, it is time to move forward. I feel as if some people breeze through existence. They see challenges, acknowledge them, and overcome events without the intrapersonal struggles that I experienced. When puberty struck, negative thinking patterns rode its coat tails.

As each teenage year progressed, I buried myself with stagnantly thick and unconstructive beliefs. Depression permeated my soul. In desperation, prescription drugs were showered upon my fragile, fifteen-year-old brain, and there was no relief in sight. While conversing with an older, wiser woman one day, she recommended a self-help book entitled The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I do not know why I listened to her; there was not an individual who was able to chip through this lead like layer with which I surrounded myself. Underneath all the muck and self-doubt, there remained a speck of hope inside my withered heart, a glimmer of hope that one day I could sense the warmth of happiness, again. I followed this inner wisdom to the bookstore. My consciousness engulfed the recommended paperback like a tidal wave consuming a sand castle. Wading through the blackness of despair, I discovered that I have the power to change my thinking patterns. As a tender, but seemingly tough teenager, I began to apply the wisdom of positive thinking.

Growing up, my parents could not have been more opposite. Mom wore rose colored glasses and saw the bright side of every situation. Dad’s glasses were gray, and nothing was ever good enough for him. After becoming an adult, I came to discover that he was never “good enough” in his own psyche. I absorbed his pessimism and anger. He picked it up from his mother, and I am sure that she learned it from someone close to her. Even generational patterns exist. I had the determination to break this cycle, but it has taken years of intense self-study and an ability to gather knowledge from many different traditions in order to feel that grace of sunshine on my soul again.

I have been blessed with a deep spiritual connection to a universal force my entire life. While depression swam in my head, I was swept away and dismissed this union. The Power of Now was the first pebble that began my accruement of wisdom practices. In another book, I read about finding a “happy place,” sitting quietly and imagining a blissful environment. I called upon my spirit guides, angels, and ancestors to surround me with support. As I examined this, I sarcastically thought, “Oh, ya, sure, that will be helpful.”

On one fateful night, I was lying frightfully wide awake, yet silent, in my bed. Despondency wrapped itself around me like a strait-jacket. Ideas of ingesting the entirety of my Xanax and Zoloft sat inside my skull, and then a spark of wisdom shot through me. Perhaps, I could imagine my “happy place.” I pictured a bed with crisp white linen covering it, resting inside of a mountain valley. As the bed sat on a wooden platform, four timber beams connected to four posts. There was no cover; rather pieces of white linen hung from the beams and whispered in a gentle breeze. The colossal mountains enveloping the vibrant green valley gave me a sense of security. Puffy golden clouds played across the sky as the soothing sun peeked through them. In this place, I was normal; I felt supported and loved. It was as if the Earth was giving me a big hug. Then, I asked for the angels, spirit guides, and my ancestors to surround me. They were there immediately, ushering a sense of eternal love and acceptance; silently assuring me that everything was ok. Afterwards, I was able to sleep.

In my studies, I have read that sleep is when we are most able to connect with God. Scientists are not sure why we will die if we do not sleep; it is my opinion that we must return to our source of life each night. We must absorb the nectar of universal love and life force from which we came. Knowledge can be accrued and accrued until one’s cup is full. I learned that we must allow space in that cup in order for wisdom to enter. Perhaps, this is where my wisdom bubbles up from. I have read many spiritual books; I have studied myself as if I were a scientific specimen. I do not claim to know too much about life or myself. Perhaps, my wisdom comes from my ability to remain open. Perhaps, it comes from applying the knowledge of spiritual “masters” that came before me. Maybe, it comes from a force within me or a force outside of me. I believe it is all encompassing. All that it took was for me to listen to that repressed intuition hiding inside of me. It is said that the longest journey begins with a single step. I took that step ten years ago and continue to transform negativity into positivity each day that I walk this Earth.

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