Insight: A Message from Within

Karalee Sutton

            Life seems to be full of patterns that repeat ad nauseam. God, the universe, and the innate wisdom within people will present lessons like broken records until they are learned. Once the human mind finally grasps these messages and applies their knowledge, it is time to move forward. I feel as if some people breeze through existence. They see challenges, acknowledge them, and overcome events without the intrapersonal struggles that I experienced. When puberty struck, negative thinking patterns rode its coat tails.

As each teenage year progressed, I buried myself with stagnantly thick and unconstructive beliefs. Depression permeated my soul. In desperation, prescription drugs were showered upon my fragile, fifteen-year-old brain, and there was no relief in sight. While conversing with an older, wiser woman one day, she recommended a self-help book entitled The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I do not know why I listened to her; there was not an individual who was able to chip through this lead like layer with which I surrounded myself. Underneath all the muck and self-doubt, there remained a speck of hope inside my withered heart, a glimmer of hope that one day I could sense the warmth of happiness, again. I followed this inner wisdom to the bookstore. My consciousness engulfed the recommended paperback like a tidal wave consuming a sand castle. Wading through the blackness of despair, I discovered that I have the power to change my thinking patterns. As a tender, but seemingly tough teenager, I began to apply the wisdom of positive thinking.

Growing up, my parents could not have been more opposite. Mom wore rose colored glasses and saw the bright side of every situation. Dad’s glasses were gray, and nothing was ever good enough for him. After becoming an adult, I came to discover that he was never “good enough” in his own psyche. I absorbed his pessimism and anger. He picked it up from his mother, and I am sure that she learned it from someone close to her. Even generational patterns exist. I had the determination to break this cycle, but it has taken years of intense self-study and an ability to gather knowledge from many different traditions in order to feel that grace of sunshine on my soul again.

I have been blessed with a deep spiritual connection to a universal force my entire life. While depression swam in my head, I was swept away and dismissed this union. The Power of Now was the first pebble that began my accruement of wisdom practices. In another book, I read about finding a “happy place,” sitting quietly and imagining a blissful environment. I called upon my spirit guides, angels, and ancestors to surround me with support. As I examined this, I sarcastically thought, “Oh, ya, sure, that will be helpful.”

On one fateful night, I was lying frightfully wide awake, yet silent, in my bed. Despondency wrapped itself around me like a strait-jacket. Ideas of ingesting the entirety of my Xanax and Zoloft sat inside my skull, and then a spark of wisdom shot through me. Perhaps, I could imagine my “happy place.” I pictured a bed with crisp white linen covering it, resting inside of a mountain valley. As the bed sat on a wooden platform, four timber beams connected to four posts. There was no cover; rather pieces of white linen hung from the beams and whispered in a gentle breeze. The colossal mountains enveloping the vibrant green valley gave me a sense of security. Puffy golden clouds played across the sky as the soothing sun peeked through them. In this place, I was normal; I felt supported and loved. It was as if the Earth was giving me a big hug. Then, I asked for the angels, spirit guides, and my ancestors to surround me. They were there immediately, ushering a sense of eternal love and acceptance; silently assuring me that everything was ok. Afterwards, I was able to sleep.

In my studies, I have read that sleep is when we are most able to connect with God. Scientists are not sure why we will die if we do not sleep; it is my opinion that we must return to our source of life each night. We must absorb the nectar of universal love and life force from which we came. Knowledge can be accrued and accrued until one’s cup is full. I learned that we must allow space in that cup in order for wisdom to enter. Perhaps, this is where my wisdom bubbles up from. I have read many spiritual books; I have studied myself as if I were a scientific specimen. I do not claim to know too much about life or myself. Perhaps, my wisdom comes from my ability to remain open. Perhaps, it comes from applying the knowledge of spiritual “masters” that came before me. Maybe, it comes from a force within me or a force outside of me. I believe it is all encompassing. All that it took was for me to listen to that repressed intuition hiding inside of me. It is said that the longest journey begins with a single step. I took that step ten years ago and continue to transform negativity into positivity each day that I walk this Earth.

Through My Writing

 Shelley David

                I started an uphill journey 2 ½ years ago, a lifelong yearning to become a nurse. After completing the Certified Nursing Assistant course in January 2011, I began the prerequisites for the nursing program the following spring at Metropolitan Community College. My first two classes were chemistry and algebra. On the second day of classes, I became more overwhelmed than I imagined I ever would and decided to drop the classes, ending my dream to become a nurse. I felt completely devastated. No matter how hard I tried, however, I could not get over the strong urge to fulfill this crazy desire. Something inside was tugging at me, telling me to not give up. I decided to take the college plunge, one more time. It is what I needed to do, for my sanity, for peace. I will never satisfy my inner soul until this true calling is accomplished.

Learning is much more fun for me, now, than it was when I was younger. The fact that I have hiked up the “mountain of life experiences” gives me a huge advantage. I love to learn, and I love to read, two things I never desired in my younger years. Thankfully, I am still climbing the mountain; I will never stop growing and learning. At my age, I have reached the point where I am confident that I can complete my wish. Right now, I am exactly where I need to be. Regardless if I complete this nursing path or not, my college experience has been life changing.

The writing class I am in, now, has taught me that I can speak for those who cannot. Words are powerful; they can build up, and they can destroy. With social media overtaking our world, young people are drawn into a place where words are power. Sadly, so often, they use the power given to them in destructive ways. Through my writing, I want to improve the lives of others, not tear them down. My words can be small drops in a lake which ripples of hope to all who read them.

God has placed me here, in this class, for a purpose. I have discovered what a joy it is to write, and as a nurse, I appreciate how influential writing will be in my position as a health-care provider. It is therapeutic; it is healing, and it can bring hope to a hurting world. That is what creates change; that is my mission.

Weather Change

Brad Ashford

 

 

Watching summer change to fall is a favorite event of mine. At home, in Omaha, this event occurs, generally, in the last couple of weeks in October. However, in Ely, Minnesota, where we have a summer cabin, it happens now at the end of September.

Fortunately, I am at my cabin, now, watching as the wind is shifting from the South to the West. A strong wind is blowing in and the gray white bank of clouds rushes across the horizon. White caps dot the normally becalmed expanse of lake a few hundred feet in front of my deck. The maple trees are already a deep red, and the birch are topped off with a deep gold hue. The contrast with pine and spruce is dramatic.

Maybe, most notably, the loons have left the lake. Their distinctive call is our church bell and street light. As a child, I remember awaking to the church bell in our neighborhood and returning home with the street lights. The loon, though not synced to Greenwich Mean Time, signals the morning, warns us of inclement weather, and portends the rising of the moon. I am told they are off to South America. Good luck.

I am blessed, as I get to see this whole change of nature happen again, in a few weeks, at home in Nebraska.